i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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