Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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