I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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