The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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