I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize