saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize