His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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