Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize