Swine flu. Run for my life!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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