Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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