I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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