No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize