You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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