I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize