Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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