My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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