im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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