I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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