I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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