I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize