maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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