So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
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And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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