y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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