Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize