I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize