So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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