im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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