WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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