Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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