areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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