the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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