I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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