yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize