If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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