You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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