I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize