I'm passing your future prison.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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