Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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