Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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