i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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