I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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