Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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