guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize