I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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