i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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