that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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