I just pynch a tree in the face
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize