You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize