Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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