Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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